If you have landed here then it’s time to take a moment to release any clenched up muscles you may not have even been aware of, time to take a deep breath and have a big sigh as you let the air out.
Do this a few times if needed, until you feel your body become a little lighter, and until your breaths come a little easier.
Health anxiety is exhausting, isn’t it?
No one truly understands better than you, or me, or anyone who has actually experienced the deep, dark spirals for themselves.
It’s a place of mind-numbing fear that consumes every part of your life and can leave you feeling completely isolated, despite perhaps having people around you in your physical reality.
When we are in a spiral, we can be physically present, but our minds are elsewhere.
It’s like our minds are trapped in a maze, with terrifying illnesses around every corner, and we keep trying to navigate our way to the entrance, while our eyes are half shut and we pray that we won’t see something that will trigger us or send us spiraling more than we may already currently be.
Trust me, I do understand.
I have been in such scary spirals before, such intense episodes, that my mind scared the crap out of me.
See, OCD goes hand in hand with health anxiety, and we soon start seeing every illness as a “sign” or bad omen or “confirmation” of illness.
I talk more about that in this blog post.
But coming back to the topic of this blog, you may find your health anxiety worse than ever right now, and be wondering what the heck is going on, especially if you feel like you have been doing well or, at least managing it to some extent.
If you feel like you have been struggling endlessly all year long, then it may feel even more intense right now, and you didn’t think it could possibly get worse.
Health anxiety flares under pressure or when we are vulnerable
I have always noticed that health anxiety tends to creep up on me, or get worse, when I am under any kind of stress or pressure.
In these instances, we are in a vulnerable state, and so, more susceptible to anxiety.
Stress usually triggers symptoms, and by now you may know that GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) causes a heap of nasty, and sometimes genuinely confusing, symptoms.
Health anxiety makes us hyperfixate on every single body sensation so it makes sense that when GAD causes symptoms, our health anxiety is going to immediately latch on and this can quickly send us spiraling.
The initial fearful feeling or thought can be kept under control if we don’t feed into it by Googling or scrolling through TikTok vids (you know what I am talking about, I know you do!)
Yes, our thoughts alone can be horrifying, but nothing feeds the fear more than reading about illnesses and diseases on Google.
If we had no way to access anything where we could look up our symptoms, we’d still be scared, sure, but we’d probably not end up spiraling quite as badly when it’s just our mind versus our mind and the internet.
Apart from GAD being a huge trigger when stress comes up, there may be other things that contribute to health anxiety spirals during the holidays or stressful times too, and this is what I have found personally.
Control and distraction
The holidays are not an easy time for many people and can be quite a triggering time.
The last time I truly felt the Christmas spirit was in my teens, back in beautiful South Africa where I grew up. My twenties were a very hard time in my life, with lots of family issues and awful personal trauma, some coming up from my childhood, and so Christmas became something I dreaded.
I never thought I’d turn into the Grinch, but oh well, here we are.
Even though things may be better now, my body relives that pain and trauma the minute December rolls around, and while logically I know things are better, my brain and body don’t believe me.
Our body holds onto trauma, and this is why I say it’s so important to be sure you are working through things from your past, because even though you may think you are over it, you may still be getting triggered without even realizing it.
This is when you experience symptoms that may not make any sense and you say “but nothing triggered me!”
This requires a little deeper digging, as your triggers are not obvious and require a little more work to unearth.
When we experience a flood of intense emotion, that heavy feeling in our gut and really uncomfortable physical symptoms that we have a hard time believing could really just be anxiety, it’s natural to feel completely overwhelmed, like we are drowning.
Like we have no control over anything in our life.
I have found that during times like this, when I feel like I am floundering and completely lost, this is when my health anxiety will come in and have me fixate on a very specific symptom, sensation or body trigger, often lymph nodes or body asymmetry.
This is my opinion, and my personal experience, but I believe this happens as a way for my brain to feel like it has some kind of control over something, as well as a form of distraction from the heaviness I am feeling.
Remember that our brain always wants to help us, and even though giving us something to obsess over isn’t really helping, our brain thinks it is helping.
It says “You feel out of control, here, fixating on this will give you something to feel in control of!”
“You want to escape those heavy, painful feelings? Let’s worry about this instead!”
Obviously it’s a false sense of control and it’s a distraction we could certainly do without, but do you see how it kinda makes sense to your brain?
Suddenly I am no longer focusing on trauma or heavy feelings, I am now checking, checking and checking some more, as I constantly feel my lymph nodes or check each side of my body to see if they are the same.
BTW… a little body asymmetry is totally normal, but health anxiety will always tell us everything is serious.
So, if you find that your health anxiety is flaring right now, ask yourself why.
Are things coming up that you’d rather not face?
Are you feeling major pressure to act happy and put that mask on that assures people you are okay, when inside you are falling apart?
Soon, it may start to make a little more sense.
Once it does, you can then start asking questions like “Okay, I understand why I feel awful right now, so where do I go from here?”
Can you consider journaling out what you are feeling rather than carrying it heavy on your shoulders and in your heart?
Can you talk to a friend or finally book that therapy session you may be well overdue for?
Can you rearrange some things so there is less pressure on you and so that you have more time to breathe?
Of course we all have different lives, different circumstances, but be sure to pencil time in for yourself and make time out a priority where you can.
It’s flu season
It’s cold and flu season in my part of the world, perhaps yours too, and so you may be on edge, just anticipating potentially getting sick and so you may be hyper focusing on every single symptom right now.
Or perhaps you are currently ill, feeling very afraid, in which case I hope this podcast episode helps!
I have quite a few episodes on health anxiety so be sure to have a browse and take what you need.
Recognize that health anxiety is real
When we have a trigger come up, we tend to get carried away with it, focusing solely on the symptoms and our fear, forgetting that these are all symptoms of health anxiety.
Health anxiety is real.
Let it know you see it by acknowledging it, out loud if you can.
As your thoughts threaten to embark on their perilous journey, can you say “Stop, this is health anxiety, come back inside, where it’s warm and safe and we are grounded in reality, not fear.”
Do this over and over and over again.
Say, this is health anxiety, this is health anxiety. Because it is. That seed of doubt? Yup, health anxiety yet again. If you didn’t doubt, it wouldn’t be health anxiety.
This time of year is a reminder for me to be extra gentle with myself, to pay attention to my self care practices as a way to show my body that I am, in fact, safe, despite the scary feelings it still feels.
You deserve to feel safe, you deserve to enjoy things that make you happy. Give yourself permission.
Please don’t put your trust in Google
Google was the one big thing that kept me stuck in endless health anxiety loops. I always say that avoiding Google is huge in health anxiety recovery, but it’s such an incredibly hard habit to break, I know.
Our brain naturally wants to understand when we are dealing with symptoms that don’t make sense and that cause us to feel fear in our bodies, which is why I wrote my Anxiety A to Z Encyclopedia.
It’s a healthy replacement for Google, as it still allows you to look up anything you need, but I will share how anxiety can contribute and tools to help in the moment and for the long-term.
Learn more about my Anxiety A to Z ebook here, and how it’s helped so many people avoid Google.
Dig deeper into my health anxiety stories
Based on feedback from my first book, which delves deeply into my entire anxiety story, especially GAD and panic disorder, I decided to write a book digging deeper into just my health anxiety stories and tools.
In this book I get really honest, sharing things I never thought I’d share before, due to vulnerability and even embarrassment, but I know if you have health anxiety then you will relate.
Learn more about my latest book, Health Anxiety is Ruining my Life!
Save $19 with my bundle that includes all 3 of my books 🙂
Please keep in mind that I am not a doctor, nor a health anxiety therapist.
I am just someone who went through such severe anxiety, for such a long time, that I vowed to share my story and be there for others should I ever come out on the other side.
Everything I share is what I learned on my own journey and what personally helped me to actually start taking steps forward.
My heart truly hurts for you if you have health anxiety.
I hope you always feel comfort in my words and that you always feel safe here, with me and our beautiful community.
Remember what I always say…
One day at a time. We focus on getting through today, and we worry about tomorrow when it arrives.
Going slow and being present is key in navigating health anxiety and taking some of your control back, as it loves to make us think about all the future worst case scenarios.
So take a dep breath and be here now.
You are safe here.
Other health anxiety blogs you may find helpful:
A health anxiety pep talk when you are in a bad spiral
A health anxiety episode I found myself back in earlier this year
8 of my scariest health anxiety obsessions
This is what I needed to see right now I’m in a huge health anxiety spiral even ended up in a&e with bad chest pains and shortness of breath for all of my tests to come back normal and I was sent home but in that moment I really felt like I was seriously ill and believed the drs must’ve missed something so i have been spending my time on Google atleast 15 times a day trying to find answers for the past 2 weeks and it’s been awful. I came on holiday yesterday and my physical symptoms have settled massively and seeing this email about health anxiety and reading the blog has literally just made me feel less alone in what feels like such a hard time for me right now.
I’m so glad this found you exactly when you needed it! 💕 That A&E experience sounds absolutely terrifying. When you’re in the middle of it, it feels SO real and scary, and then when tests come back normal it’s almost confusing because the symptoms felt so intense. The fact that your symptoms settled when you went on holiday is actually huge proof that this really is anxiety. Our bodies are so smart and respond immediately when we remove stress. Those two weeks of googling 15 times a day must have been pure torture (I’ve been there!). You’re definitely not alone, so many of us have walked this exact path. Try to be gentle with yourself and I hoped you enjoyed your holiday! 🩷