8 of My Scariest Health Anxiety Obsessions and Fears

Living with health anxiety and experiencing the intense waves of fear that go with it, day in and day out, is something you could never truly grasp unless you go through it yourself. 

Health anxiety started for me in my teens and the fear spikes would be so intense that I would be internally screaming, desperate for reassurance and an escape from my mind that always made me believe that I was dying. 

I remember always thinking that I wish, I wish I could live life without constant health and illness fears hanging over me like this huge black cloud that followed me everywhere I went. 

When there was something specific I was worrying about, it completely took over and consumed my days and nights. 

I was constantly Googling, making doctor’s appointments, asking people in my life for reassurance and, of course, checking my body a million times if it was something like a lymph node or mole that I was panicking over. 

OCD goes hand in hand with health anxiety and can quite honestly make you feel like you are losing your grip on reality, like you are drowning, as you check over and over and over. 

I know how lonely health anxiety feels and would have given anything for a community like we have now, back when I was at my lowest, but I am grateful to be able to hopefully be that support for you now, if you are where I was.

I wrote this blog to help you feel some comfort if you relate to anything I share here and to help you feel a little less alone, a little less crazy. 

Of course you are not crazy, but I know you feel that way when deep in a health anxiety spiral. 

Please be gentle with yourself and make yourself something to drink, take a few deep breaths and put Google away as you read through some of the biggest health anxiety fears and obsessions that completely took over my life for a good, long while.

Muscle twitching

My health anxiety nightmare really started with a twitch in my wrist when I was 17 years old. I was eating lunch, not feeling anxious or focused on anything specific, when this little muscle started jumping in my wrist and extended into my fingers. 

It was really freaky, because I had never experienced anything like it before and I did not like how it felt like I had no control over my hand, as my fingers were twitching on their own. 

My mom had this huge medical book and I had the bright idea to look up my symptoms in there. Twitching was listed as a symptom alongside a serious illness, known as ALS. I’ll never forget how my stomach dropped and a wave of nausea came over me as my heart suddenly sped up and I felt like I was going to pass out. 

The scariest part is my twitching only got worse and soon I had body-wide muscle twitches! The fear that consumed me is hard to put into words, it ruled every part of my life and I could barely function. 

I wish I had known just how common muscle twitching is when you suffer with generalized anxiety disorder. 

If this is a big symptom for you, I have an in-depth blog post sharing my muscle twitching journey with you. 

Lymph nodes

Ah man. Sometimes just seeing it written out triggers some panic in me if I am going through a stressful time or a vulnerable health anxiety period. 

After I started experiencing muscle twitching, I suddenly became hyper-fixated on my body and I would feel and check religiously for anything that seemed weird. 

I ended up coming across this “little ball” in my neck accidentally one day and, just like with the muscle twitching, it incited immediate mind-numbing panic in me, as my brain screamed “lump!” 

That initial feeling of panic is absolutely terrible. All logic flies out of the window as fight/flight kicks in and we immediately try to seek reassurance. 

With health anxiety, we tend to either live at the doctor or avoid the doctor completely, terrified of what they will tell us. For me, it was a little mix of both. Sometimes I was desperate for reassurance, other times I suffered alone, truly convinced I was dying and I didn’t want it “confirmed.” 

When I discovered this very obvious ball in my neck I wanted relief immediately and so I went to the doctor right away. 

I grew up in Cape Town, South Africa, and had an amazing family doctor who was used to my constant visits and paranoia over symptoms and he was honestly so gentle and kind, I will always be grateful for him during some of my worst years. 

He explained to me that it was a lymph node and that it’s totally normal to be able to feel them and that it’s common for them to go up and down in size. In fact, I have one in my neck that stayed swollen after I had a severe tonsillitis infection and was told that’s normal too!

Many things can cause them to swell, allergies and excess mucus being big ones, as well as stress and, of course, constantly prodding and poking at them. 

This made sense, because I can’t even begin to tell you how obsessively I would feel them, to the point I felt like I was losing it. 

Fear over lymph nodes is really common with health anxiety.   

I had a health anxiety flare up earlier this year, after not struggling for ages, and one of my fears was lymph node fears again. 

You can read my experience here.       

Blood pressure/stroke fears

I can’t even believe how common these fears are among other health anxiety sufferers. 

Honestly, there are many things I thought was “just me” until I started sharing my experiences online and realized so many people can relate too. 

I think blood pressure/stroke fears make sense, as so many physical anxiety symptoms mimic them. 

The symptoms that scared me the most and had me convinced I had insanely high blood pressure or was about to have a stroke included: 

• Dizziness (I was dizzy/off balance to some extent 24/7, no exaggeration. When it was mild I’d think my blood pressure is high, when it intensified my brain would scream “stroke!”)
• Extreme head pressure that felt like my head was going to explode or like there was a band around my head
• Tingling/numbness in my face (this one had me pretty much sprinting to the mirror, convinced I was having a stroke)
• My speech would be weird and slurred sometimes
• I experienced blurry vision a lot, which naturally scared the hell out of me too

Now let’s not forget white coat syndrome, which only added to my extreme fears over this. 

White coat syndrome causes a dramatic spike in blood pressure readings when having it taken in a medical setting. 

Mine would be high and stay high even after being told to relax so they could take it again. 

Here’s a story I don’t think I have shared before… I think it’s because I still feel a bit embarrassed about it, to be completely honest. Years ago, during probably my lowest point with anxiety, where I was permanently afraid of everything, including my own body, I was making lunch and ended up cutting myself badly on a can of black beans. It was probably one of the deepest cuts I had ever had (I have a nice little scar on my finger) and I went into IMMEDIATE panic. 

The blood was what freaked me out, it seemed like too much in my mind and I could not get it to stop bleeding. Even my girlfriend at the time seemed freaked out when she saw, which only scared me more. 

I had a full blown panic attack and told her to call 911 “RIGHT NOW!” I’m not even kidding… looking back now I feel so embarrassed, but panic is not logical, it just isn’t. 

You don’t think, you just act. 

And I think I was completely freaking her out with my meltdown and at this point I even told her I was feeling really faint, because my dizziness was awful so she called 911. Oh man.

The paramedics were extremely kind and patient, but one thing they have to do is check your blood pressure. 

I don’t remember my exact reading ( think I blocked it out haha) but it was insanely high, higher than I thought it could even go. I could see they were worried, which intensified my fear and they told me to breathe and relax so they could take it again, but it was still high. 

They ended up saying it’s due to my anxiety and they took it when I was in the midst of panic so this just proves how dramatically it can shoot up. 

I then had to go get a tetanus shot which really didn’t help how I was feeling and I almost cried when I saw the needle (I am a huge baby). 

This little incident meant I obsessed over my blood pressure for AGES afterwards and I would analyze my symptoms constantly. 

Please don’t forget the extreme physical impact anxiety and panic truly has and always let your doctor know you struggle with anxiety during blood pressure readings. 

Heart/heart attack fears

Another massive fear with health anxiety is fear over your heart.

I dealt with a racing heart non-stop along with almost daily palpitations, tightness in my chest and chest pain, so it was hard to not let that little seed of worry take hold. 

I struggled to comprehend that my heart could race constantly, I am talking even first thing in the morning, at night while trying to fall asleep and during the day when I was doing absolutely nothing strenuous. 

This meant I was afraid to do anything that could push it up even a little more including just walking or taking a shower. I’d often sit on the shower floor as my heart raced, pounded and skipped beats, and waves of dizziness washed over me. I am truly sorry if you relate to this.

I remember finally getting the courage to go on a walk only to be halfway and start panicking as my heart beat so fast I thought I was going to pass out and it would feel like it’s coming out of my throat and I’d often end up coughing as a result. 

Coughing can actually help to stimulate the vagus nerve, which can slow the heart rate and manage palpitations. So this was my body’s natural response to them, but I just thought that itch in my throat was something serious too.  

I used to check my pulse rate all day long and I had a thread bookmarked on Google titled “normal resting heart rate” that I would read through all the time just to see other people’s experiences. 

My bpm (beats per minute) was never under 80/90 bpm during my worst anxiety. In fact, 80 was low for me, because it was over 100 bpm most of the time. The racing heart made every other symptom feel more intense. 

The chest pain would have me panicking that I must be having a heart attack when I paired it with my racing heart and heart flutters and I remember one night distinctly, sitting on my bed, genuinely wondering if “this was it.”

Another major fear I know many people have due to heart symptoms are fears around POTS. I didn’t know about this until not too long ago, if I had, I would have for sure thought I had it due to these symptoms:

• 24/7 dizziness
• Intense heart palpitations
• Shakiness
• A pounding heart that may race or beat slowly (you can feel it in other parts of your body)
• Air hunger
• Daily fatigue
• Brain fog
• Nausea
• Headaches
• Chest pain

From my research, while it is considered serious, it isn’t life-threatening and can seem to be managed quite well with the right lifestyle habits, although this is simply what I have read, I do not have personal experience with it. I have had some people who have it share their experiences with me and everyone has a different experience. 

⁣Always check with your doctor, and please know that google isn’t the answer. 

If heart fears are currently taking over your life then here are some reminders you may need to see today <3

Brain fears

If I wasn’t worrying about a brain tumor, thanks to constant tension headaches, then I would be in panic thinking I am having an aneurysm due to random shooting pains that would honestly come out of nowhere.

One day I was doing my makeup and I suddenly got this tightening on one side of my head, around my ear, and this intense pain that had me panicking. It was so frustrating because I had been feeling good that day and was looking forward to a day without my symptoms taking over, but this pain was so intense and scared me so much that I pretty much dropped what I was doing, crawled under a blanket and spent the rest of the afternoon on the couch watching Shrek. 

The “sudden” symptoms of anxiety especially suck because you can’t anticipate them so just live on edge and in fear of the next “attack.”

Forgetfulness was another symptom that always had me worried about a brain tumor. I remember one day completely forgetting my pin number and I felt that awful and all-too familiar panic in my gut. 

Don’t underestimate the very real effect anxiety has on you both mentally and physically, I have forgotten my phone number, even my address and names of people I know during anxiety spikes or panic. 

Lung/breathing fears

One of the very first symptoms of anxiety I remember experiencing, dating all the way back to me being probably around 6 or 7 years old, was shortness of breath.

I know that if you’re reading this and suffer with anxiety yourself then you have almost certainly experienced this one and when I say that it feels like you are never getting a full breath or need to yawn just to feel like you are breathing, you can probably relate. 

You’d think that after having a symptom so many times before that you’d get used to it, but that’s the thing with health anxiety; it will always create a fresh and new wave of fear or doubt every time. 

When it was especially bad I would honestly start to feel dizzy and worry about passing out. Add globus sensation into the mix (that lump in the throat sensation) and suddenly you start worrying that your airways are obstructed or that you are having a severe allergic reaction to something. 

Don’t even get me started on allergy fears…

When I experienced this one during a cold/flu I would worry about my lungs and when I had Covid last year October/November, it only brought all these fears up for me again and I actually had a bad panic attack one evening as a result. 

I talk about health anxiety when sick and my experience with Covid in this podcast episode. 

Slowing your breathing down can help and I highly recommend looking into nostril breathing, as well as a breathing technique called alternate nostril breathing. I have a video showing how to do it on my Instagram .

I talk about air hunger in this podcast episode.

Disease fears

The number of hours I spent in a haze of worry, convinced that I have the C-word or some other disease are too many to count. 

One thing that’s crazy to me about health anxiety is how we can be absolutely fixated on one very specific thing and genuinely not be able to imagine ever not worrying about it, only to have it jump right onto something else and then that new worry becomes the latest all-consuming obsession. 

Here are some reasons health anxiety may make you fear the C-word

• You’re exhausted all the time
• You’re often nauseous and struggle with your appetite, which in turn can affect your weight
• You have unexplained physical pains
• You keep seeing videos or things that your brain tells you must be a “sign” and you believe it
• Your lymph nodes may swell from poking at them or due to allergies and your brain immediately tells you it’s serious
• Google always leads you to the C-word

If any of this is relatable and disease fears plague you on a daily basis, please, please know that it wouldn’t be health anxiety if you weren’t worrying about this and you are 100% not alone. Anxiety can and does cause a heap of strange physical symptoms that may make no sense and it’s hard to wrap our head around the fact that it’s really just anxiety.

Moles/marks

It wasn’t just my lymph nodes I’d obsess over, it was my moles too, and anything else on my skin that looked strange. 

I went through a mole phase though, where I would analyze my moles from morning until night and my biggest fear was melanoma, which I had managed to convince myself I had, of course. 

I do not recommend this, but it got to a point where I would even try to scratch them off, I wish I was kidding. 

There was one on my back that I would check with a little handheld mirror so many times a day that I actually hurt my neck! 

Please do not do as I did and rather go to a dermatologist for that reassurance if it is needed. DO NOT GOOGLE and do not scratch them off. 

Another fear of mine was cherry angiomas. They’re like these little freckles, but they are red. I have always had them on the tops of my arms, but it was only last year that my brain decided “hmm, I don’t like this” and I actually ended up in a bad spiral for a bit over them, even though I had had them for YEARS. 

In case you have them too, trust me when I tell you that I have spent enough time on Reddit, and I have seen comments that put my mind at ease too, and I have learned that they are super common! You’re more likely to get them if your skin is pale (hi, it’s me) and they are genetic too. 

They also increase with age, how fun. I have LOADS! Most are teeny tiny and you’d have to be really close up to see them, but I have them on my shoulders, chest, back, arms and a couple on my stomach. I wasn’t going to include this, but perhaps it will put someone’s mind at ease. 

I know how many of us who struggle actually prefer long sleeves to avoid seeing our body and showering can be a damn nightmare because we are confronted with our body whether we like it or not. 

You are not crazy, I promise. Take it from someone who spent far too long thinking she was. 

These are some of my most horrifying health anxiety fears that I suffered with for years (still do at times).

If health anxiety absolutely consumes your whole life then I can’t recommend my Anxiety A to Z Encyclopedia enough, if only because it will help you to finally avoid Google, once and for all. 

I honestly believe that is the very first step when it comes to managing health anxiety, because Google only keeps you stuck and feeds those health anxiety fears. 

Here’s some things to know about my Anxiety A to Z Encyclopedia:

• It’s not a book you read front to back. It’s a reference guide that you can refer back to on a daily basis if you suffer with severe health anxiety and constant symptoms.
• It includes EVERY symptom you can think of, as well as calming methods, coping skills, underlying triggers, nutrition and supplement recs and everything in between. 
• As a health anxiety sufferer myself, I am well aware that you may be afraid of anything that could trigger you. I wrote this book in a way that would not be triggering, but rather help you to finally be able to move forward 
• As an e-book, you can start reading today and it’s over 600 pages of information for you 
• It will help you avoid Google and other scary online search engines that can set you back 
• It can save you on medical costs, if you’re constantly finding yourself at the doctors office or ER 

To learn more, or get your own copy of my ebook, click here! 

For a more in-depth look at all of my health anxiety fears and obsessions, my OCD cycle, all of my stories and tools then I recommend checking out my latest book, Health Anxiety is Ruining my Life!

I know it feels like you are in hell when health anxiety is in charge and I want you to know that I was there too, for years and years. I know how isolating it feels, how you live in a state of constant fear and how sometimes it becomes so overwhelming that you may even dissociate as you resign yourself to the fact that you are probably dying and then depression may take hold shortly after that. 

I see you, I was you and I will always validate you. I hope just reading this has brought some relief you may have desperately been needing. 

Before I let you get on with your day or night I want to leave you with this. A health anxiety pep talk if you are currently deep in a spiral <3