But first…
Before we get into the blog, I hope you’ll take time to release any areas of your body that feel tightly clenched.
Those shoulders that you so often bunch up around your ears, that tightly clenched jaw, those muscles in your forehead.
Don’t forget to release that tension in your belly too, an area I tend to hold a lot of my worry.
When we eat with our tummy muscles clenched up, it can cause really uncomfortable stomach symptoms, as well as interfere with digestion. A few deep breaths before every meal can go a long way.
Taking a few deep breaths throughout your day, consciously releasing tension as you focus on your breath going deep into your belly, can go a long way.
In fact, most of us are so tensed up all the time, and taking in such shallow air, that we’re sending continuous signals to our nervous system that we are in danger. Many people I speak to actually let me know that they hold their breath, without even realizing it, something I used to do too.
Our nervous system is paying attention to our body’s cues.
So consciously breathing deeply and breathing out through pursed lips can help extend the exhale. I also love this little tool to help with that. As you loosen areas of tension and slow your breathing, you can begin to help your nervous system feel safer, little by little.
Our nervous system is like a scared child who is looking to us for guidance when things get scary.
These two simple and readily available tools: deep breathing and consciously releasing your muscles, will certainly help with anxiety and stress when practiced consistently.
Since most of the time we’re doing things without any conscious awareness, the first step is to allow that awareness to seep in so you can catch yourself the next time your entire body is tensed up, as if braced for attack, or the next time you find yourself holding your breath as dizziness makes itself known.
We then fixate on the dizziness, for example, and start spiralling, not realizing that something as simple as how we were breathing was potentially contributing.
It all starts with awareness after all.
If you’re having a setback:
Setbacks are hard, because they can make us feel like we have lost all of our progress.
I’ve been having a bit of a setback myself lately.
We talk to ourselves quite critically, voicing frustration, irritation and anger, which only makes us feel worse.
It’s hard not to fall into the negative thinking loops, especially when you feel like you worked really hard to get to a place where things actually feel calm and settled, only to have anxiety rushing back in, as if it never really fully went away.
Please pay attention to my next words…
You are human.
Read that again.
As humans, anxiety is naturally going to rise up at times, even when we may have gone through a period of calm for an extended period of time.
We tend to separate anxiety from every other emotion.
We’re not trying to eradicate anger or sadness.
These emotions are uncomfortable, but we’ve made peace with the fact that they certainly will come up again at some point and we don’t obsess over them.
Yet with anxiety, we’re like “hey, man, once you leave, don’t come back, ya hear me?”
But anxiety is a natural emotion too.
It’s needed to keep us safe and help us acknowledge/get out of situations that we shouldn’t be in.
If we were in a life threatening situation, I love to give the example of being confronted by a bear in the forest, anxiety is going to overpower every other emotion, fuel fight or flight and send adrenaline coursing through our veins, which is going to make acting much easier.
In fact, the fight or flight response is so intense that it can make us temporarily like a superhero, with crazy strength or superhuman speed; something that’s going to aid us, not work against us should we be in a bad situation.
Okay, but I’m having a fight or flight response in line at the grocery store 
I hear you.
It’s a little tricky to know what to do with the intense flood of hormones when you’re sitting at your desk or standing in line.
Adrenaline is designed to make us move so when the stress response is in full swing and we are completely still, we are going to feel every part of that response in its full intensity.
I break it all down in detail in my first book.
I was working in a salon as an aesthetician during my worst anxiety days, when I was having multiple panic attacks a day.
I’d experience a rush of adrenaline while in the middle of a manicure and feel my vision blur and waves of dizziness wash over me while trying to not fall over in my chair.
I’d often excuse myself to go to the bathroom and I had to take time off work due to how much this affected me.
I know what it’s like to have anxiety truly impact your entire life.
The most common symptoms I experienced during panic: many of these symptoms I dealt with 24/7 due to generalized anxiety disorder, but they’d intensify during panic
- Dizziness
- Blurry vision
- An insane racing heart and erratic heartbeat
- Waves of hot/cold sensations wash over me
- A frightening sense of impending doom
- Head pressure and tingling in my face
- My hearing would mute and my ears would ring
- Nausea
- An intense need to get out of where I was
- A knot in my tummy
I could go on and on…
It doesn’t matter that we may know that these really are anxiety symptoms, the intensity of them can be almost unreal and it’s very hard to not panic/obsess once the panic comes down.
Why is my brain confused?
Our brain is so powerful.
Just a thought can cause the same reaction as if we were in serious danger, our brain doesn’t know the difference.
So being more aware of your thoughts can help and learning to not follow the thread of them into horror land, but what about when we get hit with symptoms that seem to come out of nowhere.
The anticipation scenario
If you’re suddenly feeling good after dealing with anxiety symptoms day after day, then a calm day can feel like absolute danger to your brain.
Why? Simply because it’s unfamiliar and so it feels like a trick.
You then try to enjoy your good day while anxiety starts to gently curdle in your belly, assessing every potential threat and trigger that could turn a good day into a bad one.
This anticipation alone often brings symptoms on.
Then you tell yourself your sudden symptoms make no sense when they actually really do.
When you can enjoy a good day without desperately trying to control whether or not anxiety is going to come back, that’s when things slowly start to shift.
I’m a control freak and it was no different with my anxiety.
I’d spend my good days on the lookout for the tiniest whiff of a symptom that could signal an anxiety spiral, which meant my good day was spent on high alert and the symptoms soon returned.
Eventually I was so fed up I’d say, “I feel good and I’m going to enjoy it, whether it’s for 5 minutes or 5 hours. IF anxiety comes back, it’s okay, I know it will pass and I’ll get back to a good moment again.”
This acceptance alone can make a dramatic difference.
Figuring out triggers
I’ve said this many times, but I’ll keep saying it; anxiety is coming from somewhere.
We’re not just born anxious and have to accept that meds are the only option.
I went down that route for a year and share my meds story in this podcast episode.
No, your anxiety IS coming from somewhere. Sometimes the triggers are obvious, like you’re going through stress or change, but other times it can be more hidden.
I think when the triggers are hidden we resign ourselves to the fact that “we are just like this” but I’m sorry, that is just not true.
I used to have this belief until I started untangling all my layers of potential triggers and realized caffeine, sugar, alcohol, unknown food sensitivities and unresolved trauma were pushing my anxiety buttons day after day after day.
So if you’re having a setback, instead of asking yourself, ‘Why am I like this again?’ try asking, “What might my body or mind be responding to right now?”
Get a pen and paper, make a list.
You’re not broken, there’s just some work to do
And I know how daunting it can be, but the goal is not to figure it all out in one day.
I give you guidance in my first book, a book that was born out of notes I had started making during my darkest days, walking you through my entire journey, my meds experience and every single thing I learned that got me to this point I’m at today.
My other books are the perfect companions to my first book.
The A to Z allows you to quickly look up what you need without being triggered or spiraling.
I include coping skills, calming methods, every single symptom, every tool and pep talks for the extra hard days. I hope this book will support you through every day, as you finally start making sense of your anxiety and how to manage it.
While working through my first book, you can pull up my A to Z any time that overwhelming fear and desperate need for reassurance comes in.
Or you could opt for my bundle which includes both, as well as my book just focusing on Health Anxiety, called Health Anxiety is Ruining my Life!
Please take it one gentle day at a time and don’t force yourself to have to figure everything out in one day.
Please remember that I am always sharing symptoms in relation to anxiety only and my personal experience. Don’t ever self-diagnose and always go to your doctor with any symptoms you are concerned about <3
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